How did I get here?

     I am sitting here in a fog; a young woman, which I took under my wing, unexpectedly lost her dad. She refers to me as an additional mother figure in her life, even though I am only 10 years older.

     How did I get here? I have struggled with my own identity, my own worthiness, and my own purpose. How did I become the source of her strength? Her go to? Her mentor? Her advisor? Why am I being charged with pouring into the life of an adult; when I am still trying to figure out how to raise my own child? 

     Her dad meant the world to her. In between her sobs, I feel as though my heart being ripped out. You see, she is an only child by her dad. This is closer to my heart and my fears because my daughter, too, is an only child. When I hear the hurt, pain and sorrow in her voice, it brings me to tears. Tears that fall so freely; sorrow that has caused me tears regarding my decision to have my tubes tied 12 years ago. Now my child may have to experience this same pain, alone.

     I often ask the question; why me? What is it about my family and I that allow people to be vulnerable with us? Why do people seek our counsel and opinion? Why are we individually and collectively, the lifeline of some many? We open our hearts and home to those in need. "Mi CASA Es su CASA" is a phrase that we live by. 

     During my conversation with my friend this morning (5.15.15), she said, "When I make it back to the city, I need to come home for a few days." Right then, I knew why. I am charged with shaping lives and providing a one of a kind place of solace. My family and I are more powerful together. The love that we have for each other overflows into the lives of those that we touch.

    Why is this situation blog worthy? I am so glad that question was in my spirit. It is blog worthy because it has changed how I value relationships. Culture has brainwashed us to expect accolades when we do our basic duties. When a child is born, he/she his born unto two parents; those parents are to care for that child, for a lifetime. One should not accept a pat on the back for doing what is expected of him or her. The pat comes in when things are done with excellence (i.e. academic brilliance, entrepreneurial brilliance, brilliant sportsmanship). Those are gifts that must first be recognized, cultivated, and demonstrated in life.

     I do not celebrate my husband because he is a good man. I celebrate him because he goes above the call of duty for his family; not just physically but spiritually, as well. He constantly raises the barre (touché) for his daughter’s spiritual and natural health. He is giving her a skillset that will make a huge difference if her life. A lot like our “adoptive” daughter’s father set her up. I have only known her for 8 months but she has taught me more about me.

     I am not striving to be a good wife, mom, woman, or friend. My everyday goal is to be an excellent asset to any path that I might cross. Everyone has the power to be anything they want to be. Choices of good and bad will shape the rivers, oceans, streams, and lakes in which we ultimately swim, float or drown. 

     I am challenging myself to be excellent in all areas. The passing of my friend’s dad taught me that if my life’s decisions looks like the outcome of another, chances are I have more in common with people that do not look like me; but they in turn think like me and I like them. 

     My strides towards excellent will eventually come natural to me. If the reflection in the mirror is not thriving, most likely the fruit of the spirit is just as lifeless. People will judge your reputation by what they see - show 'em ya good side. I am the change. I am the light. Together, we can be the platform to life.