Day 1: our trip to the resort almost ended in disaster before it even began. We were on different pages about directions; in addition, I was overly irritated because I wanted Starbucks. That's right, our marriage is not perfect; we are flawed just like everybody else. Every time I began a conversation, my husband would have some type of epiphany and start talking about something else. Nevertheless, we made it. We got checked in and so the journey began. Who am I? I am a person with feelings and my feelings are sensitive at times.
We were given a booklet at check-in that had to be completed together, as a team. This should be interesting because I love books; my husband, not so much. Our very first question: Why did God put us together? We both had perplexed looks on our faces. Geez, after almost 12 years of marriage, this should have poured out of our mouths like water out of a faucet, but it did not. We had no clue, as a matter of fact, we never thought about that question, EVER!
Silence pierced the room like a loud shrill, as we pondered. My husband's first of many responses: "for us to teach the other the true meaning of unconditional love." I added, "for us to be an example of moving over and letting JAH do His work. He never has to show up, simply because He is already there!" Who am I? I am a woman, a real woman, whom is loved unconditionally by her husband. That is who I am.
Day 2: Our visions were previously aligned because of the life changing storm of 2012. We already had a plan regarding a lot of different things such as: finances, goals, expectations, children, vacations, etc.. Why were we here? Surely, we were here for a reason. Alright God, what's up? We breezed through the remainder of the book; so now what? Share. Connect. Fellowship. Learn! Those words were dropped into my spirit. We did just that. Who am I? I am a woman, that has been through some things but not for my benefit. Every stone will be used to help build people that are in the season of receiving.
Day 3: As our time at the retreat draws to an end, I asked God, what should I apply to my life and my marriage? We listened to other people share their takeaways. One inspirational couple, shared their eye-opening moment. After 53 years of marriage, the wife said: "I am afraid for you (speaking about her husband) to leave me. I am afraid to be alone." Tears began to form in my eyes because I understood. I understood what she meant, by not wanting to be alone. I knew she did not mean being alone, as in her husband leaving her and moving away. I knew she meant God calling him home, and leaving her here alone. Now, I really could not stop my tears from falling because: 1. They are still trying to align their vision after 53 years of marriage. 2. They genuinely love each other. 3. Every day or every other day was not a good day. They still put selfishness to the side. 4. They trusted God enough to be transparent with total strangers about their concerns. 5. They have no idea, how they raise the bar for our marriage. Who am I? I am a flawed woman. I have work to do, a lot. Couples are in need of real people that has a true love for God. A love for God that is not all preachy and weird. A real life couple with real life issues; a couple like us!
A younger man made the comment: "that is the kind of reaction I want from my wife when I am gone. I want to be remembered as a good husband, so that my children can tell their children, who can tell their children about me." That is it! At that very moment, I realized why we were there. We are here to begin our legacy! Who am I? I am a woman that is building a legacy to be remembered for generations, not only by family, but everyone that may enter into my realm; by planting seeds of love, compassion, and empathy. Fun will fade when the person is deceased or replaced, but the love will live forever!
I have battle wounds that have become beautiful battle scars. I am a sinner and I need Jehovah's grace and mercy every day. I am scared to be without my husband, who has vowed to protect me and love me just as he loves himself. I am flawed, so I am a continual work in progress. I am a woman, who wants to do more than have fun with her husband, so when my curtains close my legacy lives on, not only through him but in his heart, too! I want to build him up so that he has no choice but to build his family up. I want to elevate him; therefore in his confidence I am elevated, too. I want to love him just as God loves me. I want to stay on this track so that we never, I never, have to experience the heartbreak that we have felt once before.
Who am I? I am a testimony of what can be done through faith, grace, discipline, and love. I am a testimony of what can be done when you just let go.
A new week has emerged. A new opportunity to be bigger, better, and prayerful than days past. If failure is allowed to defeat and deflate us, in the end we lose all that we’ve worked hard to acquire. However, if we take each obstacle and strategically use them as life’s stepping stones, in the end we are elevated to our rightful position. Stay strong in faith – persevere through failures; keep the darkness at your back, as you walk into “The Light” with purpose and victory of a job well done! Who are you and what is your legacy? Be the change. Be the light. Be the platform to life.
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I absolutely love you and Henry!!!!! See, a lot of people don't realize why we(human race) are here. We are here to support each other. Be the strength for one another when we're feeling weak. Thank you for sharing this experience. So inspirational. MWAAAH!!!!
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