Ah!!! To be a woman is “kind of a big deal.” Wait, on second thought, IT is more than a big deal – it is a COLOSSAL deal! Typically, women are considered the glue that holds everything together. We build our families – we love our husbands – we care for the children – comfort our friends, we keep the fort, and nourish the soul. WE ARE A BIG DEAL!!!
To be a woman, a good woman, takes years of trial and error, that includes an array of experiences, successes, failures, disappointments and setbacks. I was once a woman that played a god in her own life. I allowed people, circumstances, and situations to harden my heart, I would say things like “I am not going to do this, or – I shouldn’t do that,” all because my perspective was cloudy. Yes – I was her and she WAS me.
Whilst, I’m being honest with you, it’s only fair that I’m honest with myself; by government standards I was legally an adult at age 18. Oh yea – what a great feeling to be 18 and free! God’s standard only classified me as an embryo, an underdeveloped human. I had a long journey ahead of me, tons of trials and tribulations, boy if I would have known then what I know now, life would be totally different. Shall we proceed?
Let’s start with my quest to become a mother – that’s right I wanted a child before I had a husband. Being an unwed mother isn’t something we dream of as a little girl, is it? I was involved with my highschool sweetheart – at this point we were solid, we lived together, we worked, and we were in the process of buying a house. Surprise, in February 2000, we found out we were pregnant! I was so excited to become a mother, surely that would earn me another stripe on my womanhood badge; or so I thought. The first 1 year of our daughter’s life, we parented on a wish and a prayer. We poured love into our kid, set expectations, laid the foundation, and lived a life that was well put together – that makes me a woman right?
God has a way of keeping us on our toes, but only if we allow Him the opportunity. I always knew living with, my then, boyfriend was morally incorrect and it wouldn’t be perceived well if we continued down that path. So one fine Tuesday morning in December 2001 – I said to my “then boyfriend”, “MARRY ME, I can’t continue to live in sin, accumulate things, be a mother, but pretend to be a wife; we got married that day!” Yay – I’m married now. Surely, I am a woman now! Yes! According to society, I was a thriving woman, I’m 22 – wife, mother, homeowner, career professional – so I shouted from the mountain tops – I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!! Still, my God said – “No, honey, you are merely but an infant, Trust in me and I will make you the woman that you were created to be.” Ha, - God, I’m 22 – I got this…I’ll call You if I need You, but don’t sit around and wait on it.
2012 was a test of my “woman” and my family’s toughness. A separation turned our world upside down. We were lost individually and collectively. This is it, clearly if I had ever questioned my capability of being a woman – this was the ultimate worldly test...and I passed with flying colors - I am now a REAL woman – I am a single mom, a newly separated woman with freedom. Shoots, by society’s standards – I was an I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T woman – a force to be reckoned with – Leggo – fist pump! The truth be told, I was confused, lonely, and with a huge sense of defeat. Oh, but my Heavenly Father said, “Daughter, you have yet to trust in Me – you are but a toddler in strength and in faith but in order to grow up and be stronger, you must TRUST ME! #Tuh, turn down for what God? I’m finally free – I am finally a woman I’ve earned every battle wound – the last thing I need is another set rules. I ain’t trusting nobody but myself – I got it!
March 2013, my life changed FOREVER. I was weary and spiritually sick. My husband and I sat side by side in an Easter service at our church, trying to do the right thing and test this faith thing out. We both were in a place of uncertainty, but our God was fast at work because we were at our weakest. What we thought was our worse trial yet – God made it work together for our good. Looking back, I can see that now because my spiritual awareness has been heightened. My idea to disconnect from the world in 2012 was the best thing that could have happened to me; I had time to focus on the one thing that was the most important to me…my family. Finally, I am a woman now by God’s standards because I surrendered my entire life for His purpose – for His kingdom. My husband’s prayer to have a god-fearing wife had been answered – and we were well on our way to assume our position in the quest to get connected to the Vinedresser.
Chrystal Evans – Hurst describes a kingdom woman as a woman of value. “When a kingdom woman begins her day, heaven, earth, and hell take notice. When she nurtures and advises the man she loves, he can do little to resist her. When she offers care, comfort, and encouragement to her friends and relatives, they are able to go farther, faster, and in confidence because of her inspiration and reassurance. Other women turn to her for wise counsel and a compassionate ear. She is a vital contributor to culture and a gatekeeper at her home to keep out the negative and promote the positive” (Kingdom Woman).
Where is your womanhood? Are you being honest with yourself when it comes to your level of maturity naturally or spiritually; being in denial has to be one of the best tools of the enemy. If your eyes are fixed on everyone else’s blessings – you have a lot more growing to do. The best advice that I can give to those whom are in need of a push is to focus on you and your family, after you’ve established your faith. Remember, womanhood is less about age and more about maturity in both the natural and spiritual realm. If you come from a long line of brokenness, why would you expect a different outcome when your life is the same as generations past? My God has been a Miracle Worker and a Chain Breaker in my life only because I finally learned to trust Him with every ounce of my being.
If you don’t know the direction in which you are traveling, then I suggest you check your womanhood – or manhood and do the following: Be the change. Be the light. Be the platform to life. #TP2L ~jess
I'm over here shouting praise!!!!! I thank God for all of my lessons and blessings. Sometimes I get down and out about what I haven't accomplished in my life. Then I read this and it opened up my eyes to the things that I have accomplished. I have wonderful, intelligent, funny, beautiful God fearing kids. They are healthy and they remind why I keep pushing forward. God is good all the time. When you honestly take some time to reflect. You truly see your blessings and how far you've come.
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