Boundaries: How many of us have them?

     Boundaries, how many of us have them? YIKES!!!  I just realized that I began to establish boundaries a little over two years ago. It took me decades to step outside of my comfort zone, to take some time for myself, by myself. Marriage – no boundaries. Parenting – no boundaries. Friendships – no boundaries. Relationships – no boundaries. For the most part, everything that I touched or everyone that I encountered, I failed to establish a healthy boundary.

     The ever so cliché saying, “when you know better, you do better,” is so far from the truth. Almost everyone that I know has some type of vice that is NOT good for them; yet, they do it anyway…myself included. It is amazing the conviction that comes upon a person when their spiritual senses are heightened; it is equally amazing the struggle between flesh and spirit once surrender takes place.

     Prior to 2012 – I cared more about the words of man than I cared about the wrath of God. I allowed so many to voice their opinion of what should take place in my life. “Oh, you should not allow that.” “Oh that cannot be healthy.” Or my favorite – “if I were you.” It is astonishing the amount of broken people that will offer broken advice to those who are just as broken. Marriage advice from  a divorcee/single person or an unhealthy couple. Parenting advice from a childless source or an unhealthy, unstable parent. I mean – everyone knew what was good for me but oblivious to what was best for them.

     Stop it. I had to stop it. I found myself hyperventilating, dazed, confused, and exhausted. This could not be LIFE. Friendships that I thought were solid began to slowly drift apart. My marriage was strained because of my addiction to please and make everyone happy. My daughter began to  feel the weight of my distractions or lack of boundaries.

     I had a problem; a problem with saying:  NO – and sticking to it. Oh! I am a big girl now and the desire to appease the masses does not live here anymore. I have found my voice. I have reinvented myself. I have established boundaries. I have stopped placing expectations on people. I have learned to love people right in the presence of their storm/paradise. I have learned in any sport, corporation, healthy relationship, or anything else life has to offer – there are boundaries, often called: rules, guidelines, policies, and/or procedures. In order for my life to be elevated to the next level, I had to levy the confines of my life. In doing just that little thing, it has lifted a weight from my shoulders. It has made my existing relationships great. It has situated a solid foundation for my future relationships. I will no longer invest precious time cultivating relationships that will only add to my ever so full plate. I will listen to JAH’S voice and loosen my need for control and rest in the boundaries of covenant relationships sent for Him, by Him.

     Sometimes, it takes losing yourself, in order to re-invent yourself. Most people do not like change – as a matter of fact, they loathe change when it upsets their lives. If one constantly give themselves  away but never take the time to replenish; not only does being selfless out of season becomes a detriment to the health – it becomes dangerous to the soul. If at the end of the day, you are drained from LIFE, then I suggest you check your boundaries (or get you some) and do the following: Be the change. Be the light. Be the Platform to Life. ~jess 

 

 

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